"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain."

Day 1, Week 1
Saturday 16 January, 2010
9:46 am

The passage for the first 2.5 weeks is talking about trust. Trust; I have always considered myself a trustworthy person. If you tell me a secret, I'll take it to the grave. If you confide in me, I won't spread it around like juicy gossip. I will pray for you.
Cody and I just got back from a little vacation in Naples, FL. We planned ahead, we budgeted, and we saved for the trip. The relatives we visited were very generous towards us poor little Socorronites. They treated us to so many lovely restaurants, let us stay with them, and filled our agenda with lots of finance friendly activities.

My Aunts and I love to shop, and shop we did! There are many beautiful antiques and consignment clothes to be had on the Gulf Coast. I went a little crazy, and mostly spent on myself. Cody didn't spend much of anything. During part of the trip, I realized I needed to tone it down a notch, but even with it on my conscience, I failed to stop spending. I will not say how much I spent, but let's say I had a set amount, and I came in just under my limit.

What I should have done was kept a watchful eye, considering the loans I need to be paying off. I cannot describe to you the guilt that hit me one day, when I realized that how I was behaving was sin. After a few days, I couldn't in good faith spend without exercising some sort of control. I really wondered what Cody would think of me if he knew just how recklessly (no matter how finite) I was spending OUR money. I realized something; I easily trust him with our combined monies, but on the flip-side, can he trust me to do my part financially?

The thought causing him trouble, and not getting ahead because of my selfishness, well it seriously disturbs my heart. Selflessness is what verse 11 is talking about, and it seems I have forgotten the kind of humility that God desires for a wife. May He forgive me. My husband, the wonderful man that he is, has forgiven me, and has a patience I can only hope to have.

"The heart of her husband trusts in her..."

This passage does not specifically mention finances, but it speaks to me personally about my weaknesses with money.
It brings to mind a passage in Luke I used to memorize, chapter 16, vs 10-12. It says basically that one who is faithful with a little, will be faithful with a lot. One who cannot be trusted with a little, will not be put in charge of greater amounts. "If you have not been faithful in that which is another's who will give you that which is your own?"

Ouch.

In a conversation we had not too long ago, Cody and I were both frustrated with having debts (mine mostly), and barely making it by with the money we are earning. We have friends who never seem to worry about being able to afford things (it's hard not to compare lifestyles with others). While we were talking, God brought to mind said passage in Luke. And I told Cody that, well maybe God is trying to get us to be responsible with the little that we have; to trust Him now, so that that faith is secured when we have more. Deep down, I know that is what God is waiting for. He is waiting for me to "step up to the plate" so that I know who I am in Him when He puts me in charge of more.

Anyways. I felt led to get started on this.

Dear reader, please pray for me and my quest.

Feel free to comment!


C.W.