She brings him good, and not harm, All the days of her life.

Dear Readers;

I am sorry that I haven't written in a while. Cody is a student, so usually he takes the laptop with him everywhere. He has been so busy I haven't gotten a chance to use it for more than a few minutes. Also, I am writing from a new laptop, because our usual one died on us, and is currently in repair. It is Saturday, and I woke up about 10 minutes ago (I usually am at work right now, opening the coffeehouse).
Anyways.

This past Sunday I heard a sermon on fasting. It was a very interesting sermon, full of wisdom, and scripture. Basically the pastor said it should be something that Christians do. Jesus fasted an impossible fast, 40 days without food, OR water. When he was asked about fasting by the pharisees, he told them "when you fast, wash your face and anoint your head, and do not let anyone know you are fasting." This means that we ought not to make fasting about ourselves, so that people pity and admire us for not eating. It also doesn't necessarily mean fasting from food (people are addicted to many things). I have fasted from sarcasm before, and also from facebook. Also, Jesus doesn't give you a timeline as to how long you should fast, or when. He just expects you to do it. I did fast from food a few days ago, because it was what I feel God wanted me to do. So God really helped me to get through it. It sounds simple, 24 hours without eating, but really when the push comes to shove, temptation is right there at your door, pushing you to give up.

I fasted for many reasons, but mostly because I felt I should be praying for lots of people while denying myself something important. God really showed me a lot about worship. Now I fasted for God, but I also used it on behalf of others.

This I think, is a way of bringing my husband good, focusing on my relationship with God.
I have really been challenged these past couple of weeks to be selfish, and have given in to it a few times. Mostly with doing the dishes, and making dinner. While I love make my husband dinner, I hate cleaning the dishes. But it feels like God really kept bringing to mind part of the next verse, "she works with willing hands." Boy, that truly convicts me when I think of all the times I whined or complained. I mean, I complained about having to wash the dishes for half an hour, and there are tens of thousands of people in Haiti who have lost so much.

Really, I have it great. God has given me so much, and I should willingly take care of it and appreciate it. I've noticed this past week, mostly just in these past couple of days, that I am so weak. I think the title verse, "she brings him good and not harm, all the days of her life," points out my flaws. Now while I would never physically harm my husband, I can immmediately think of some of the things I say that harm his masculinity. Not harsh anti-male comments, but subtle things I have said to him that have probably hurt him, and made his role as 'husband' more difficult. Like last night, I tried to tell him the best way to get to a restaurant, and he told me, "I already know." And last night I was annoyed that he gets to use the computer so much, and so I made him feel bad. Yesterday, when I think about it, was just full of me being a slight version of an overbearing wife. And I have to say to him, if he reads this, that I am truly sorry. This last challenge I failed.

I started this next part of the challenge on Wednesday, January 27th. The 2.5 weeks end on Saturday February 13th. SO I still have antother 7 days to redeem myself, and come out clean and wiser. (O God, please help me learn!).

So that is when I will write next, on the 13th, the day before valentine's day.


If you are reading this, please pray for me (it helps so much!).

I will write soon, and hopefully with much better results!!!


In Him,

C.W.